Finding out about myself

I have been overweight all my life and I mean even as a baby. My parents were refugees from WWII (Eastern Poland that was taken by the Soviets and is now part of Ukraine) and my mother was terrified of starvation… long story. I have battled the scale all my life. I was hospitalized in grade 2 for obesity, went on my first doctor managed diet with some kind of pill at 10 years old, and it just never ended. Some diets had as little as 800 calories per day. Some didn’t have certain food groups. I am 49 years old today.

This was when being a fat kid was not common. I was bullied, never accepted by my peers, and have no idea what a flat stomach feels like. I never, ever, had one.

I began to use food as something it wasn’t. A pacifier, a reward, a way to mingle with family and friends…. I felt lost and abandoned when i couldn’t partake in my former behaviors. I remember my aunt giving my cousins a bowl of ice cream and giving me just a tablespoon. This is one little example from when I was as a child. No wonder my self esteem is wrapped up so much in how I look.

So now my situation has morphed.

I really cannot eat simple sugars without eating protein too. I end up feeling shaky, I sweat, feel a little anxious, feel a little nauseous, my thighs feel like they lose energy, and I end up feeling like I am going to pass out…. my doctor says hypoglycemia. I think it means my insulin levels spike so high they leave no sugar in my blood. It happens when I eat wheat too.

I think yo-yo dieting is to blame. My hope is that I can learn to fix this and at the same time lose weight through default. My dietary hormones must be a total mess.

Is it really possible to fix this?